I have a gigantic avocado tree in my back yard. For the past few months, I've been anxiously (and geekily) awaiting the harvest of what I was sure would yield bowls and bowls of luscious guacamole. A couple months ago, I noticed olive-sized buds and for the past few months have watched them S-L-O-W-L-Y progressing into full-grown fruit.
As they grew bigger, I realized I had no idea when to pick them - they didn't look like the green-almost brown ones in the store. Do they fall off when they're ready? Seeking guidance from the site that knows everything, I Googled "When to pick avocados" and learned that unless I knew if my tree was a Bacon, a Hellen, or a Jim, growing seasons can be all year long and avacados are ready when they're all different shapes and sizes. It's really quite amazing how many varieties there are.
Yesterday, I noticed one hanging waaaaay up near the top of the tree and I knew - it was time. It was softball-size, was beginning to get faint brown marks, and well, I just couldn't wait anymore.
Already tasting my turkey avacado sandwich I set out to fetch a ladder, manuevered it up in between the branches, climbed to the top and couldn't reach. Hmm... I try balancing on my tip toes and shaking the branch. That doesn't work. Aha! I have a broom. So I run down, grab the broom and start gently swatting at the avacado like a pinata. Typing this now, I realize how ridiculous I probably looked.
Well, that worked. It worked so well, in fact, that the dang thing came flying down from several feet above and hit me sqaure in the nose. I went running into the house, holding my nose in pain, imagining the horror I'd find in the mirror. ACK! @#$*#! My nose can't really can't afford to get any bigger! (I've been blessed with "The Hochkammer Nose"). No ice to speak of in the freezer, so I soothed it with a bag of frozen corn, following the queue of my mother the night of my wedding after walking in heels all evening.
Two days later, things are under control. I have a nice bruise and some swelling and have received a couple giggles from people at work who ask what happened. The avocado is not quite rip enough yet - takes about a week. But you can bet I'm going to enjoy eating every bite of that thing.
As they grew bigger, I realized I had no idea when to pick them - they didn't look like the green-almost brown ones in the store. Do they fall off when they're ready? Seeking guidance from the site that knows everything, I Googled "When to pick avocados" and learned that unless I knew if my tree was a Bacon, a Hellen, or a Jim, growing seasons can be all year long and avacados are ready when they're all different shapes and sizes. It's really quite amazing how many varieties there are.
Yesterday, I noticed one hanging waaaaay up near the top of the tree and I knew - it was time. It was softball-size, was beginning to get faint brown marks, and well, I just couldn't wait anymore.
Already tasting my turkey avacado sandwich I set out to fetch a ladder, manuevered it up in between the branches, climbed to the top and couldn't reach. Hmm... I try balancing on my tip toes and shaking the branch. That doesn't work. Aha! I have a broom. So I run down, grab the broom and start gently swatting at the avacado like a pinata. Typing this now, I realize how ridiculous I probably looked.
Well, that worked. It worked so well, in fact, that the dang thing came flying down from several feet above and hit me sqaure in the nose. I went running into the house, holding my nose in pain, imagining the horror I'd find in the mirror. ACK! @#$*#! My nose can't really can't afford to get any bigger! (I've been blessed with "The Hochkammer Nose"). No ice to speak of in the freezer, so I soothed it with a bag of frozen corn, following the queue of my mother the night of my wedding after walking in heels all evening.
Two days later, things are under control. I have a nice bruise and some swelling and have received a couple giggles from people at work who ask what happened. The avocado is not quite rip enough yet - takes about a week. But you can bet I'm going to enjoy eating every bite of that thing.
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| The unfortunate scene of the crime |
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| The nose and the prized avocado |
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